How can you set expectations for your child?

Ever had to deal with a tantrum every time you need your child to stop doing something fun?

Setting expectations is one of the most effective ways to stop your child from throwing their temper or display unpleasant behaviors. Here is a quick guide to how you can effectively set expectations.

Ensure attention.

• Make sure the child hears and is actually listening

• If necessary, approach the child to tell them about your expectations, avoid calling from a distance

• Whenever possible, make eye contact

Be clear and specific.

• Your expectations should be clear and specific

  • A good example goes something like: “You can play for 1 more minute, and then we will go to music class”

• Avoid abstract phrases or vague statements

  • A not so great one is vague and unclear: “You can play a little bit more and then we have to go”

  • How long is “a bit more”?

Be realistic.

• Avoid setting too ambitious or unreasonable expectations

• This can be counterproductive and increase problem behavior even more

• Make sure your expectations are age-appropriate

Be consistent.

• Once you set your expectations, make sure you go through them. For example:

  • 10 seconds is always 10 seconds

  • 10 Math problems to solve are always 10 problems and not less

We hope that this quick guide is useful for you. If you need more personalised help, please reach out to hello@bemeservices.com.